Being back to university is not easy at all for me...
It's not that I don't like learning, because I truly do. I always did. And it's not about my age and stepping in the stage of life when all your friends are getting married and planning children. It's not about the pressure of the whole society to follow them, to start my own family and a "normal" life. And finally it's not about having my weekends stolen by classes because I really love my classmates, appreciate my professors and what we do.
It's about a duty.
Since I remember I always was a bit defiant child when it comes to what other was telling me to do. I loved learning and doing creative things. I loved the development in all possible areas and forms. But I always wanted to do it by my own way, not the way somebody showed me. Or I was doing not exactly what was expected from me. Instead of writing essay about a given reading, I was comparing the author's two other books. While was studying architecture I was focusing on breathtaking theater lobby rather than on the main theater audience. And even not so long ago, when I was asked to answer "The black on white, and the white on black" in my textile project, I decided to take the risk and answered like it was "(shades of) whites on white and blacks on black". I do prefer creating my own tasks and duties, not having them imposed by someone else.
Unfortunately, a few days ago, when I started thinking about upcoming beginning of my last year of studies, I reminded myself all what I've just pointed you above. Of course I don't know yet what classes I'll have and what kind of exercises I'll be asked to do. But there are certainly some issues I'm sure about. For example I'm sure that one part of my bachelor's degree is more artistic and involves a series of drawings or paintings. As wall, I'm sure I'll be obligated to draw my fashion illustrations precisely, showing all important details and proportions, in a less artistic way than I want. I created a board on my Pinterest showing fashion illustrations that inspire me. It's such a pity I'm not going to be able to focus on that kind of drawing! More expressive, more emotional, more meaningful. Thrilling and involving! I hope you agree with me about how amazing those pins are. I wholeheartedly invite you to browse the board and to re-pin as much as you want. I hope that what I've collected will inspire you as much as it inspires me!
It's so hard to still be a student...
I'm learning. I'm doing the best I can right now, and I'm getting better with it every day - Peter Clifford